When the good news come in pairs

This blog post is about how life can change in matter of a day. I can’t say that I am an unfortunate person, I have a place where to sleep every night, food in my fridge,  a partner that love and support me and a family (1.874 km away from me) that love me and would do anything for me. Yes, I am fortunate.

But sometimes we feel we don’t have everything that we would want. That is where this story start. My partner and I decided to buy a house. We were sick of paying this extravagant rent every month just because is Brighton. We knew that if we get a mortgage the amount per month will be less than our current rent. Happily we started our research, and honestly, it took as more than six month to find a property that we could afford and it was not disgusting. People sell horrible places for the money with which I would buy a palace in Spain!! We found the place, now we had to fight for it. Brighton is a nice place to live but houses are very difficult to get. I have to say that it has been a long process and we still there, but finally before Christmas we had the good news that our mortage was approved and the house was taken out from the market!! Yay! I was so happy that day, even if I knew that the house needs A LOT OF WORK! and when I say a lot is a lot, but we though it was good investment and good price for a 3 bedroom house in Brighton.

With all the excitement that day about the mortgage I started planning and looking the days to move and….. wait, where was my last period? F.ck. I though, naa, this is because the anxiety of the mortage. I did a test. Positive….

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I was ment to be happy? I don’t know. I just started crying and not of happiness. I was planning to have children this year (later this year). I just signed a 35 years mortgage and I was pregnant. I am going to be honest, I was in shock all day. I couldn’t believe it. How I was going to be able to pay the house when in less than nine month I would be in maternity? My partner calmed me down saying that we will do it, etc. that I should not worry about the money. But it was really the money about what I was worried? I don’t think so. I think it was the shock of thinking I was going to be a mum, that in less than 9 month a little human would be around us forever and I that would be my priority for the rest of my life. I am ready for that?

It took me a few weeks, or a month to be conscious that this is happening. Even now, I still thinking that this is not happening. Maybe because I haven’t seen the baby yet. I am almost 11 weeks pregnant. Soon is my scan, and I think that day is going to be the day that I really believe that this is happening. Now I feel excited but we still waiting for the keys of the new house. Is going to be hard, I know. But I trust in us and I know that we will make it through.

I must say that until now I feel fine, apart from the 6-8 weeks that the nausea was killing me. Now they are gone and I am just starving all the time! At work I feel fine but is very tiring to look after babies when the only thing that you want to do is sleep!!! My midwife says that from the second trimester my energy will be back. Let’s hope that is true because if not is going to be a long way to go. I will keep you update.

If you have any tip for this lost mum-to-be, I will be more than happy to hear from you. Wish me luck. Thanks for reading,

Silvia xxx

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